Thursday, March 10, 2005

He's Baaack

I was reading this article on the Blacktable that is a consumer's guide to the afterlife, comparing various aspects of religions like conversion process, afterlife, and judgement day. It reminded me of a dream I had several weeks ago that scared the shit out of me. I was at some hole in the wall bar, like Two Way Inn. I was standing by myself in the back leaning against the wall, and all of a sudden I felt a palpable sensation of doom spread through me and all around me. Someone walked past me and said, "He's baaaack." Panic and dread pulsed through my veins. It was judgement day. They were referring to Jesus. I remember thinking to myself, I should have believed. And all I wanted was to smoke a cigarette. The sensation I felt in the dream was so vivid, I can easily recall it to mind. And I'm not even a Christian, but I was raised in the church. I wish I could describe the sensation. I knew the world was ending and I knew things weren't going to be good for me. I wanted to continue to do the things I had always done - smoke a cigarette because I was stressed out. But I knew that it was all over. It was just a matter of time.

On a lighter note, I haven't smoked a cigarette in a week. Thanks to nicorette. I've decided to take the plunge and break the nasty habit.

1 comment:

Memphis Chix said...

YAY! I'm so very impressed with you.
Be a quitter and save $$ so we can go have more drinks!