Tuesday, December 21, 2004

I don't want you to rake my yard

Yesterday I'm doing some work in my house and there's a knock on the door. I already know it's someone wanting to do yard work. A poor black man who is in need of some money. Yep, I was right. He wants to rake my yard. I tell him I don't have cash, I don't have bags. Oh you can write me a check and I'll get some bags. How much to rake the front yard? Twenty dollars, that's the going rate, but I'm really in no position to negotiate. I'll give you 10 dollars to rake the front yard. It's a tiny yard, and damn it I really can't afford to pay you that you annoying jerk. So I'm smoking a cigarette when he comes up with his rake. Do you have any tape? No. As he starts to work the rake breaks in half. I offer to let him use my rake and he gives me the dirtiest look and says, I'm mad at you now. I guess because I watched him rake for a few seconds with the broken one. Whatever dude. About 10 minutes later he knocks on my door. I don't have any bags. Shit, I'll give you some kitchen bags. Five minutes later he knocks on the door. So I ask who do I make the chekc out to? Aw, man. You don't have cash? Aw, I don't have no ID. I can't get it cashed. I told you I didn't have cash mother fucker! Never fucking again. It only took him 15 minutes to rake the yard, and he wanted 20 dollars! Shit. And he was a fucking asshole. I was feeling the Christmas spirit and he gave me some crap that he needed to buy his daughter a bicycle. I'm an idiot. There's no reason for me to feel guilty. I mean I'm poor too. I would have no problem paying someone to do actual work, but they're not looking to work they're looking for a handout. Don't knock on my door wanting your 10 dollars after you've worked for 10 fucking minutes and haven't even bagged the leaves like you said you would. Ok, I'm done now.

2 comments:

Memphis Word Nerd said...

Shit, my yard needs it so badly that I'd be thrilled to pay someone to rake it. The front yard isn't so bad but the back is a nightmare.

Mr. Roboto said...

When I worked one summer for the DA's office, I found that those types of scams are pretty common. Back then, a crew was going around promising to go buy and spread a load of mulch for old people's yards, then they'd return and dump it out and demand $100 or some crazy amount for the pile of mulch.

The worst thing was, the Shelby Co. DA had no time to prosecute that kind of stuff, so those guys got away it.