Titzilla and the Soft Opening

On Saturday I went to a "soft opening" of Garcia Wells, the new upscale Tex-Mex restaurant in Overton Square where Friday's used to be. Though my boyfriend found a way to pervert the term soft opening (not such a hard feat), it just means a practice run for family and friends before the restaurant actually opens for the general public. I went with my roomate, his friend, and Serabee, who has already described Tits McGee, aka Titzilla.

Titzilla's tits made our acquaintence right off the bat. Her tit exposure level was off the charts high. I'm talking strip club levels, and Garcia Wells is an upscale establishment. She either had fake breasts (most likely) or a turbo charged bra that could lift and push those puppies together yet still remain completely hidden in the shirt cut down to her belly. A quarter of an inch lower and we could call her Nippzilla. Let's just say it was slightly inappropriate.

Cleavage is fine. I personally don't like to show cleavage, partly because I don't own any bras that could produce much for me, but this was way beyond mere cleavage. This tit display didn't seem to be humanly possible. I guess silicone doesn't move too much so the threat of a nipple shot is reduced.

Of course my friends and I, being the catty bitches we are, joked around a bit with each other about the appendage assault our senses were experiencing. To make matters worse, she either had absolutely no bartending skills whatsoever and was hired solely on her breast expertise, or she heard some of our comments and decided to fuck with us. I think it was a combo of the two. She proceeded to ignore our margarita order and make one for some dude. When she finally got around to making our drinks, SB politely inquired about the kind of tequila she used. She picked up the bottle and went to explain the tequila to her little boyfriend at the other end of the bar. What the fuck? I think her head was full of silicone as well.

Beware of Titzilla.